The spirits of Egyptian past swirled around Imhotep. He gagged on the dust that consumed him like a heavy morning fog. Sheesh, when was the last time these guys used lotion? He swatted at the dusty spirits like flies, but they continued to harass the immortal priest. Imhotep was twisted and pulled like a Bop-It before shriveling into what looked like a rat cooked over a fire for too long. His body, or what was left of it, was thrown several feet from where he stood, and he landed with a loud thud and a ghostly “oof,” though neither could be heard over the wailing spirits. They sure did like to make a scene.

When they’d had their fun, the spirits vanished up the handicap accessible ramp that led out of the underground palace. Imhotep was back to normal – his Tarzan loincloth intact and his rippling muscles rippling with anger. His pursuers and bringers of dusty spirits, Rick and Evie, stared at him in amazement. Did their plan to send this mummy back to the afterlife fail?

Rick picked up a sword at his feet and swiped at Imhotep, drawing blood at first contact. Imhotep looked down at the trickle of blood on his chest. He angrily rolled his eyes up to meet Rick’s, then looked at Evie who smugly grinned back at him. He didn’t need to understand English to know the spirits had turned him into a mortal, now no more special than any of the other meat bags that bumbled around the earth.

Imhotep clucked his tongue and covered his wound with one hand. He gave the two a raised eyebrow as part of his peeved expression. Evie stopped Rick before he could fatally stab Imhotep. She nodded her head towards the exit, as if to say to Imhotep – go on, get! The once high and mighty priest shook his head and ascended the ramp out into the sunlight.

Death is only the beginning.

Boy, they got that right.

It took Imhotep several months to land on his feet. There were no spirits playing hacky sack with him again. No, he had to adapt to the 1920s, which we all know is not an easy task. He had no home, no camel, and not a coin to his name. It wasn’t until he caught the eye of the manager of Red (Sea) Lobster that his luck turn around. Her name was Sherry and she liked the cut of his jib. Which is to say, she was very fond of this muscular man and his loincloth.

It wasn’t long after Imhotep took the job at Red (Sea) Lobster that he and Sherry became romantically linked. It started off with her giving him a camel ride to his house (which was a random shack at the edge of town, and when she turned the camel around to head home, Imhotep quickly darted into the shrubs. This lovely woman couldn’t know he was homeless!), then slowly progressed to them drinking from one Cairo Cola bottle through two straws, to Imhotep moving in with her. Needless to say, they were inseparable.

That is until Sherry was caught kissing the street performer dressed like Ramses who danced along the sidewalk in front of the Red (Sea) Lobster. Imhotep wanted to surprise Sherry at work by coming in four hours early to cover a co-worker who allegedly came down with a case of the plague. Imhotep was the one surprised. He shook fake-Ramses until his stupid pharaoh head almost fell off, then took off running. Sherry turned left and right on her toes, not sure who to comfort. She shrugged at fake-Ramses and ran after Imhotep.

Sherry found Imhotep crying behind a stall at the market. The annoyed fruit merchant screamed with his eyes to get that goofy, half-naked man out of his stall so he wouldn’t scare away any more potential customers.

Imhotep reluctantly walked away with Sherry. She explained the reasoning behind her infidelity (fake-Ramses has a dog and a handful of bonds reaching maturity!), and in doing so, realized she’d chosen the wrong man. She apologized, but she was going to have to let Imhotep go – not just from her life, but from Red (Sea) Lobster as well. It just couldn’t work.

While Sherry was at work, Imhotep walked to her house to gather his things (a bag of loincloths and some turtle wax). It was a lonely walk back to nowhere.

Many hardships followed Imhotep’s breakup and job loss. He asked to join a church as a priest, citing his previous priesthood, but was denied the position since his references from over 3000 years ago could not be reached for questioning. He also struggled with learning modern Egyptian, and so few people understood when he spoke ancient Egyptian.

Imhotep’s life wasn’t shaping up to be as good as the first time he was alive. There was no palace, no riches, not even someone he could call a friend. He settled for selling fish in the market, which attracted many cats and led to him being known as The Cat Master among the other merchants. It was a name he wasn’t fond of, for it seemed they gave him the nickname in jest. Still, he allowed the cats to follow him from the market to his shack, and even named a few that were his favorites – Pharaoh Pawcett and Cleocatra.

It wasn’t until Imhotep’s neighbor gifted him a shirt with the words “Life Isn’t Complete Without a Cat” stitched into it did he start to feel happy about where he was in life. Well, second life. At first he thought he was alone, but the cats made him feel needed. Maybe it was the fishy smell that kept the cats around, but he believed they loved him for him. This actually did make him feel complete. Imhotep treated his furry friends like the treasures they were and found no greater pleasure than spending time with them. And so went the rest of his mortal days – selling fish in the market and loving his horde of cats.